For the Laughter, and Not Just for the Laughs

One of my favorite comedians is Steven Wright. Quite frankly, I had not thought about his stand-up in some time but was recently reminded of him on Facebook. His delivery is very understated which makes his observations pop and made me pop about truth. Go to You Tube and check out his routines! Below are some of his one-liner comments.-Pr. Schroeder

1. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
3. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
4. If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
5. All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
6. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
7. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
8. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
9. Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
10. I intend to live forever…So far, so good.
11. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
12. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
13. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
14. My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
15. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
16. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
17. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
18. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
19. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
20. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have film.
21. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.